BE YOUR OWN LIGHT

                               A life in the shadows a victim in the making

                                          

Leah 1 of the 2 dawtas of Laban uncle to father Jacob, she was the first wife of Jacob whom he never loved(initially but learnt to appreciate her) because he wanted to marry Rachel which he eventually did.

Leah had a low self esteem maybe she couldn’t look any one in the eye to Jacob she was inferior in some way in personality an attractiveness, she lived in the shadow of her stunningly beautiful sister, Rachel was extremely beautiful and Jacob was in love with her and wanted to marry her and worked 7 years for her. Leah second best maybe when Rachel was born she began to with draw now all of a sudden her father takes her to be Jacobs bride, can you imagine the conflicting emotions she felt.

Jacob was tricked, in ancient Israel as custom had it, you never saw your wife till the next morning, he went to confront Laban after he slept with her, Laban made him work 7 more years for Rachel, Leah was deceived caught in the game she did not manufacture, she was a victim and all she ever wanted was to be loved, admired and respected for who she is. We all want to be loved by family friends spouse etc. when she woke up she just wanted to be loved by her husband and all she got was an empty bed.

She was hurt felt used unwanted and undesirable, she decided to win Jacobs love and affection, what extremes have you gone to win someone’s favor parents boss friends etc.

So she took the first step to get his attention and many woman have tried to get a man’s attention SEE ME, every person desires attention and do what they think will make them more excepted, you cannot be affectionate with someone who does not see you, Leah then pursued the only means available to her….she had a baby, Jacob may not have loved her but he was married to her it was her right in that society for him to give her a chance to bear children, her first born Rueben means look at me she thought by giving him a son he will see her, might have had a way of looking at her but not seeing  her didn’t  notice if she gained weight or lost it .

Something happens to a woman’s spirit when she is totally ignored by a man she desires a loving relationship with her psyche is messed up her heart crushed her self esteem shattered rejection can create deep emotional wound, after awhile she thinks something is wrong with her or she starts doubting herself. Hear me Leah tried the second time Simeon was born. Crying out to have her opinions her feelings her desires heard, know me she persisted she was determined to get Jacob attention and affection had her third son Levi. To be joined to or connected join with me connect with me Jacob. Having children does not guarantee that your spouse will see you or be intimate with you Leah finally faced up to that fact. she shifted gears I can’t get his attention he won’t listen to me he won’t be one with me its time change direction PRAISE JAH and Judah was born meaning let Jahovah be praised.

A life of praise, people of the tribe of Judah became leaders of praise. Until you become like the tribe of Judah you will always need people to fulfill you to see you to hear you people to tell you who you are.

Mother Leah birthed Judah and said now I will praise Jah. Stop trying to so hard to impress others to be accepted, love yourself for you are worthy you are fearfully (respectfully) and wonderfully made, until we know and understand Jah love we cannot love another person. 

STOP FOCUSING ON WHAT OTHER HAVE AND WHAT YOU DONT HAVE...if you look closer you have all that you need.